What is Sound Healing?

After 20 years, people are still often asking me the simple question: "What is Sound Healing?"  While attending the 11-11-11 Crystal Sculls conference in Los Angeles during the November full moon I was asked again in the hotel lobby so I decided to write this very basic explanation in response...

My earliest conscious introduction to this new awakening (in the west) of an ancient healing and meditation practice, art, and science started when I met Ephat Mujuru in Boston about 22 years ago when my first son Nathaniel was born.  Since that time I have seen it grow and evolve and move into many directions.

In general, When I talk about sound healing I usually make some distinction about whether we are talking about (1) a healing session between practitioner and client, (2) a personal form of meditation (with sound), or (3) what is commonly called a sound circle.  I call this third category a "harmonic attunement gathering" which is done with a group.

All three of these practices are done in many different ways all around the world.  In some non western traditions it has been practiced continuously for thousands of years.  In Zimbabwe all three practices exist centered around the mbira (thumb piano) and hosho (seed shaker) and most importantly, the human voice.

In Mongolia there are also very strong traditions within all three practices.  Native Americans, and Australian Aborigines also practice all three forms in various ways.  There are many more traditions around the world of course but this suffices as an example.

Less formally sound healing is practiced unconsciously by all of us without knowing: when a mother sings to her child or unborn baby, and when we utter sounds as an emotional response to pain, joy, surprise, love, sex, what ever!  The sounds we make when we are angry are very powerful and we must learn how to channel that energy in creative ways rather than destructive ways if we do not wish to resonate and pass on the source of our anger.

As a one on one healing practice, many practitioners have the client lie on a massage table while they perform healing work using sound in a similar way that a Reiki practitioner works with hands.  Sometimes these practitioners use tuning forks to perform the sound part of the practice.  Sometimes they use singing bowls, or crystal bowls, and sometimes they also use other instruments if they are also trained musicians.

I use many different kinds of sound producing instruments when I am practicing, mostly my voice combined with metal singing bowls, didgeridoo, flutes, mbira, drums, and seed shaking sounding instruments.  Yes... even sticks and rocks struck together work well in the correct setting and context.

Sometimes the practitioner combines sound with other modes of vibrational healing like Reiki, or Flower essences, massage therapy, etc.  I also do this in my own practice.

During my private personal meditation practice I use sound to tune and energize my chakras, perform self healing, regeneration, and to manifest personal intention or to do distance healing work on another.

My own sound practice combines, pranayama breathing, silent mantra meditation, and Reiki.  The pranayama I use has evolved from what it originally was when I first was taught the practice by my guru in the late 70's.  It now combines the breathing with multiphonic vowel chanting and also playing the didgeridoo or a flute.

The third context of sound healing, done in a group and called a sound circle has evolved in many ways in the USA and Europe over the past 20 or so years.  I have coined the words "harmonic attunement" to more accurately describe this third context of sound healing.

There are many different ways its done depending on the school of thought doing it.  The French acupuncturist and sound healer, Fabien Maman prefers to do it in more of a concert like setting where healing musicians are seated on a stage or in a corner of the room while recipients sit in chairs or lie on mats and passively take part.

Many other sound healers do the group thing as part performance and allow the audience to come in with their voices later during a second session etc.

When Michelle Herrera and I founded the Sound Healing Network in Massachusetts back in 2002 we formed it with the intention of being a synergistic group consciousness collaboration rather than the result of one single teacher or guru.  In that spirit we sponsored local sound circle gatherings that were democratic and non hierarchical in the way they were run.

We would rotate each week someone to be chosen to lead the circle, but their function was only as a facilitator, and their only purpose was to come set up the environment, make announcements, start the session, keep time, and end the session.  The rest of it was all spontaneously created through the entire group. Events would proceed like magic without needing verbal or physical direction.

We believe that a group sound circle session is often guided thorough a collective conscious awareness, as if we are the musicians in the orchestra and the conductor is a higher power guiding us all in spirit.  With that said, those who are more experienced often teach those who are new the neat tricks they have learned along the way.  It is a growing tradition...

Since moving to Orcas Island, in the Salish Sea, (north west of Seattle, south of Vancouver BC, and east of Victoria BC) I have been guided to do these these harmonic attunement sound healing gatherings during the full moon.  The purpose of them is more about getting ready for powerful physical, mental, and spiritual changes that are now occurring around the globe as we enter fully into this new age that has been dawning since the 60's and now coming fully into manifestation now through 2012.

This month, during our road trip to the 11-11-11 Crystal Sculls conference in Los Angeles we had a chance to do a very powerful Full Moon Harmonic Attunement at a very powerful site: the Campbell Hot Springs in Sierraville, CA.  We did a preliminary session during the evening coming into the full moon, in the parlor of the Globe Hotel in town.

Later that morning we were called by many owls who woke us up out of bed with their persistent hooting and so we did a second more powerful session while soaking in the hot springs.  Our second session was one of the most powerful sound healing / visioning events I have yet to experience!  We sang, chanted, and tuned in with some very powerful energetic entities who inhabit the valley where the Campbell Hot springs are located.

I am writing a story about some very special owls who fly through a multidimensional portal near the north face of Turtleback Mountain (on Orcas Island) at a certain time of the year when conditions are just right.  This actually happened in a vision that came to me a few weeks ago, but what I did not know was that these owls somehow came through the portal (energetically) and visited us at the hot springs in Sierraville, CA in the early morning yesterday (November 10, 2011). 

Our Journey this month has been quite an exciting unfolding story.  There will be more stories to tell to come soon!

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Cosmic Allignment?

Happy New Moon fellow moon beam surfers!

So today is the day after the cosmic alignment... Or what actually did happen yesterday anyway?  It was a very contemplative time for me as this whole week has been actually!

Here is something very interesting to read during this dark moon day:  http://www.realitysandwich.com/Alex_Grey_Mind_Parasites. 

From my earliest recollections of childhood experiences, I have always always pledged to be in alignment with the highest good of all.  I have dedicated and surrendered my deepest intentions, governing values, and shared merits to the empowerment and uplifting of all life in the universe. 

Now with all that said, I admit life can be a very rough road at times.  I have had my dark moments like everyone else.  But even in my darkest kicking and screaming hour, I have always kept the commitment to the highest good for all deep within my heart!

There have been times in my life where I became strongly aware of parasitic entities such as described by Alex Grey's vision above.  I have learned over many years how to shield myself from such dark beings.  I have many unseen guides, ancestors, and loving spirits with me always who protect and guide me.

The fact is this: Energy is constantly flowing through us as we surf through the cosmic source reality of everything.  It is not stored up within us in such a way that we can be drained (like you see in so many video games).  Any sort of parasitic feeding will not deplete, since the source of energy is infinite. 

If you feel depleted... understand that is an illusion.  We feel this desperation psychologically because we have been exposed all our lives to the every day experience of the physical cycle of life and death.

In true reality, life and death are only cycles we travel on a greater journey which is infinite!  If you can let go of that concept, you will find true peace!

What actually happens is dark entities have self deluded themselves and cut themselves off through seduction of the ego.  They no longer see that through absolute love our cups are ever overflowing and we do not need to hoard since all is abundance! 

Because of their blindness and hardened hearts, these dark entities feel desperate to attach themselves to others bright energy centers (the beautiful flowers blooming) and drink from that.  Life force energy is everywhere and is multidimensional!

If these dark entities are able to reverse and deflate their self created delusions, returning to their original self loving beauty they would see their own energy centers connected already to all the abundance of the universe, and realize they have been living in a self created illusion of separation.

They will begin to see their own beautiful flowers blooming within the garden of light and abundance around them and their self appointed darkness will lift.  Their metaphoric ugly appearance will be transformed into metaphoric beauty, and rather than being parasitic they turn the whole picture around and begin exploring and sharing their own energetic creation with all the beauty and life all around them.

You know... Life can get so serious at times! I find humor to be the cure for pretty much everything!

Finding a bottle on the beach, Jake uncorks it and releases a genie.

"Ah, now you get three wishes," says the genie.
"Great!" Jake replies. "First, I want one billion dollars."
Poof! There's a flash, and a paper with Swiss bank account numbers appears in Jake's hand.

"Next, I want a nice ocean-side house in Hawaii."
Poof! Another flash, and he is holding the deed to an ocean side property in Hawaii.

"Finally," Jake says, "I want to be irresistible to women."
Poof! There's another blinding flash ...and Jake turns into a box of chocolates.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two hearts!  Keep on smiling :-)

My Initial Reaction to the 9/11 Event - Revisited 10 Years Later

I wrote the article below shortly after the 9/11 event occurrence in 2001.  Today, exactly 10 years later, I decided to re-publish this article as a blog post here.

Revisiting how I felt then... much of my feelings today are the same, but I have new insights based on events and facts that followed the event to the present day.  I may follow up this post with a sequel of what I have learned about this and other events over the past decade...

My thoughts on the "Attack on America" Crisis September 11, 2001

Copyright ©, 17 September 2001, by Ben Sheppard, all rights reserved

The events of last week were very stressful on me emotionally and caused me to go through a deep re-examination process of everything I believe in.

 

After a week of much inner turmoil, I am still unshaken about my beliefs and convictions about war and violence which formed back during the Vietnam era while I was serving my country in a lifesaving role, as a helicopter search and rescue air crewman in the US Navy.  Back then, the evil forces were far from US soil.  It was easy for most of us young idealistic folks to protest and point fingers at the military and the establishment, carry banners for love, peace, and proclaim pacifism.

We are now in a new age and the conditions and rules have changed somewhat.  We are no longer one socioeconomic, political super power nation struggling in a balance of power against another socioeconomic, political super power nation. Rather we are in the midst of evolving into a collective union of many nations with common socioeconomic, political, humanitarian, ideals while still holding dearly to each of our separate national heritages, cultural and religious beliefs.  Try as we can, we cannot stop the slow evolution taking place. 

The advance of technology, mass transportation, and mass communication are rapidly shrinking our world to the size of a Brooklyn back yard.  This is causing many factions of fear, resistance, and reaction from all sides, both religious, economic, and cultural.  Old feuds and prejudices that go back many thousands of years, and in some cases were lying dormant, have now flared up again with full force.

I recently started reading a book by Osho titled: " Courage, The Joy of Living Dangerously" and this book has become a real beacon of light for me!  I am learning that my gut feelings are real and I must pay attention to them above all else.  For years, I have been relying on my wits, experience, and prior knowledge to help me get on with my life, when in fact it has been holding me back from achieving my true destiny.

I have become very good at surviving this way but it is not really survival at all, but a slow, dull, but comfortable death.  If you put Lobsters in a pot of sea water, and very slowly bring it to a boil, they will be happy and eventually fall asleep and die... DOH!  That was me for the past 15 years... But not anymore!

A friend of mine once came up with a phrase and I love to use it: "When the roof of your house blows off in a storm, the sky is the limit!"  Now I'm ready for action... And boy, does this world need it!  Everyone is looking for answers, for explanations, for a secure road map, so that they can feel comfortable once again, and put their heads back into the sand and go back to their benign uneventful lives.

The iron is wicked hot now and its time for us to wake up and start living.  Terrorists are willing to die for their beliefs, lets start living for ours...  My mother recently cc'd me an email paraphrasing some of Dr, Martin Luther King Jr's words in a plea she sent to President George Bush.  I was touched.

Dr. King has been a major influence in my life!  I love him dearly.  I have on many occasions sat with my face full of tears while listening to his voice over the radio and remembering...

Being a musician/composer brought up in the blues and gospel belt of the USA, has connected me very closely with my African American brothers and sisters.  I constantly feel the pulse and pain of their struggle.

Reading my mom's words was like a light going off in the darkness and I jumped on the internet to do some research of my own.  Here are a few paragraphs of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. which I feel are relative to the current state of affairs:

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars--must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

"We must combine the toughness of the serpent and the softness of the dove, a tough mind and a tender heart."

"Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

"Man is man because he is free to operate within the framework of his destiny. He is free to deliberate, to make decisions, and to choose between alternatives. He is distinguished from animals by his freedom to do evil or to do good and to walk the high road of beauty or tread the low road of ugly degeneracy."

These words echo strong convictions and beliefs I hold deeply in my heart.  I know it is the correct way to respond.  We are dealing with criminals.  We are not at war with anyone or any race or religion.  It is a law enforcement issue even though the perpetrators may believe themselves it is a religious one.  I have studied these religious beliefs myself and know that there is nothing in the original scriptures condoning or praising these violent kinds of actions.

They have consciously and consistently broken many obvious universal laws against humanity, God, Allah, (insert your name for God here), including but not limited to mass murder, genocide, oppression of basic human rights, and destruction of property.  Whoever did this must be brought to justice in a correct and just manner that does not violate anyone's rights or freedom.

We must be careful not to allow ourselves to fall into the trap of becoming fearful of those we do not understand by associating them with acts and behaviors that they are not guilty of. Allowing ourselves to begin to judge others based on the color of their skin or social, religious and cultural beliefs is a dangerous road to travel.

I also believe that this issue should not be handled by the USA alone.  We need the wise counsel of our neighbors and allies who are there with us and want to help.  Handling it this way will be much more effective, gain solid integrity, and do wonders in bringing the nations of the world closer together and build trust.

It may sound trite and tired but I quote the Beatles one more time: "All You Need Is Love, Love Is All".  If we all really and sincerely try hard to practice this, the world would be transformed overnight!  It is the most powerful force in the universe and it still works.

We are all very concerned for our children.  I am a deeply spiritual person and I believe we all chose to come into this life with all of its consequences for some reason or another.  I believe our children made that same choice before they came into this world.

When my boys are old enough, I will respect their decisions and be very proud of them no matter what they choose to do in life.  I will encourage them to do it courageously and with conviction. I am trying my best through example, to teach them what I believe is the correct spiritual path, but they must make their own decisions at the end of the day.

The truth about 2012. Is the sky falling?

You know the story about Chicken Little?  "The sky is falling!  The sky is falling!"

Lately I have been reading all kinds of web posts about invisible planets, comets, or neutron stars that are coming to destroy us all!  All kinds of apocalyptic stories are in the news these days and its time to say something about all of this nonsense!

There is absolutely NOTHING in the Mayan prophecy about a mass destruction of our planet or solar system!  The Mayan prophecy and many other parallel prophecies from other traditions around the world all talk about a coming T R A N S F O R M A T I O N, not a destruction.  That transformation is happening within us all.  Its happening on the inside...

Our civilization is NOT coming to an end.  We are not about to witness some celestial event that will cause an apocalypse or mass extinction.  We are the lucky generations!  In spite of all the confusion, suffering, turmoil, natural, and planned disasters taking place in our world today we are also witnessing and experiencing a great spiritual, mental, AND physical transformation of the entire human race.  This great transformation is effecting all life in our solar system for that matter. 

When this current transformation is complete, (which began almost 20 years ago) there will be no more war, or conflict.  We will all be transformed in love and our new world a paradise of beauty and peace.  Universal peace and love will no longer be an ideal, it will be the default.  We will have Heaven on earth in every sense of what that can mean.

We have major challenges and mega work to do however...  The butterfly is emerging and many on the dark side want to throw it on the ground and squash it before it gets a chance to finish the transformation!  They are afraid because they have learned how to manipulate the world well through past ages and don't want to loose that after all the rules of the game change.

We all know...  everyone...  dark and light... that the entire game itself is changing.  All the power, and wealth in the world cannot prevent what is now happening.  This transforming evolutionary essence is coming directly from the center of our galaxy.   All living things in our solar system are effected.  Our DNA contains dormant code that is now waking up and changing us into completely new creatures.

Our sexual differences are slowly, (now more quickly) dissolving.  We are loosing our sense of individuality and separateness as we slowly develop into more of a hive mind.  Each of our individual conscious minds are slowly melting into awareness of a greater connection... one in the same with all life throughout the galaxy.  Eventually we will all begin to realize our galaxy is a singular conscious entity and that our minds and bodies are all part of this giant singular conscious entity just as you can feel individual parts of your own body connected to your whole being.

The tower tarot card was dealt beginning in the mid 60's and later marked by the harmonic convergence in 1987.  Its the beginning of the end for all in power and wealth and that card is playing out now stronger than ever right now.  Its going to mean disaster for those who currently enjoy the most opulence, and hard times at best for anyone still asleep and in denial to the changes going on all around them.

There are many among us now who have not been afraid to become fully awakened. We are letting go of old familiar ways, and beginning to embrace a growing survival instinct to come together, trust each other authentically, and build new collaborative community conscious collective lifestyles in balance, partnership, and respect for all of mother nature, not just our own kind.

We have become courageous and have surrendered, to the changes going on within and without.  We are ready to fully embrace this shift in consciousness.  We are beginning to recognize each other with an intimacy that connects us even closer than the family instinct of past ages connected us with our blood lines.

Since the 80's we have been dealt the star tarot card.  Most of us have suffered in bondage to those with all the power and wealth for thousands of years.  But the tables are now turning in our favor... "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" - Matthew (Sermon on the Mount).

The dark forces will no longer be at war with the light once the shift is complete.  Darkness and light separated and became adversaries thousands of years ago but now these two opposing camps will be melding back together with the return of the 5th element.

The 5th element will restore balance through the power of absolute unblemished love.  It is the child like innocent love that will bring us all back together and finally destroy fear and judgement.  This is the symbolic return of the garden of Eden.

The 5th element is the archetype of dimensional transcendence that has been missing from our collective consciousness for so long!  It is a metaphysical element not a physical one like hydrogen or oxygen.  Scientist are now beginning to discover anomalies within the discipline of Quantum Physics attributed to this 5th element archetype. 

We could not understand these anomalies in the past because the 5 element archetype was still hidden from our consciousness during those ages.  Since the middle of the 19th century, and much more now with the dawn of the 21st century, our collective consciousness has expanded and scientist are beginning to sort out this behavior with a new vision.  They are comming up with a completely new form of mathematics that explains this new transcendental, elusive, multidimensional nature.

These new discoveries are going to change all of our current understandings about everything, especially our current belief about the BIG BANG and the origin of our own known universe.  Modern science is beginning to see beyond the veil of our space time reality and will be able to peer into or even travel into other parallel dimensions.

If something can travel inter dimensionally, it can use that ability to take shortcuts through other dimensions, effectively traveling faster than the speed of light.  According to Einstein and current main stream scientific understanding, if something can travel faster than the speed of light, it will effectively be traveling backwards through time as well.

Over the next decade we will begin to "focus our microscopes", do more scientific experimentation, and create resultant technologies making time and interdimensional travel an everyday possibility.

These discoveries are all outward physical signs of the more profound evolutionary changes going on deep within us.  From a molecular level more and more of us are waking up to a feeling and physical awareness beyond our own 3 dimensional existence!  This awareness was always there for a few enlightened individuals, and shamans throughout the ages, but more and more of us are now being born with these abilities and its now reaching a critical mass among us all.  Its where our concept of "spirituality" comes from and obviously all religions talk of gods, spirits, and beings able to transcend time and space.

After the shift, darkness and light will no longer be separate... no dualism, no judgement of good or bad.  Knowledge of good and evil came with the fall.  It was a trick, an illusion that we needed to be able to survive those ages and get to where we are today.

Eventually our scientific knowledge will come to the understanding that matter and energy are all constructs and that our universe is nothing more than a smoke and mirrors trick.  The reality we currently see, touch, and feel is a very small piece of a much larger multidimensional reality in constant flux.

Like a beautiful butterfly we are breaking out of the old mold as new transformed beings and we will soon be flying far beyond the reaches of our old familiar world.

The Lovers & The Butterfly

a new poem

by Ben Sheppard - 20 August 2011

somewhere,

another time,

another dimension,

here,

two friends stand alone together walking through the world,

their love is childlike, innocent, hidden, protected,

inspirational beacons... throughout the ages,

committed... supporting... creative independence,

both freely choose to explore each others mystical pool.

diving into each other...
they come to a place where they find others,

others who dove into other mystical pools,

here they all stand...
in a circle around a deep mystical pool of iridescence,

drunk with love...
everyone dives in fearlessly...
courageously...
intimately,

within the iridescence...

a great transformation...

metamorphosis...

multidimensional interlinking...

a deep timeless quiet...  

a darkness..............................................................

an emergence...

a cobalt blue toric mist spins into existence

the most beautiful wings of all stories ever told unfold and take shape,

a brand new beautiful creature slowly stumbles into multidimensional self awareness,

the beautiful creature is pregnant,

she gives birth to a new universe,

where two friends meet...

somewhere,

another time,

another dimension,

here.

Harmonic Attunement Message - Cancer Full Moon 2011

Since November of 2010 we have been coming together on Sunday Mornings closest to the full moon at the Buddha Barn on Orcas Island to create sacred space together in sound and spirit to share our intentions both inwardly and outwardly for healing and transformation.

Since October 2002 I have been guided to bring people together through the ancient power of harmonic resonance.  Mostly through our own voices, but also through the sounds and interactions of sounds we create outside of our voices.  It has been a wonderful journey, a journey of powerful discoveries, a place where many fears have been dispelled, where hope has been kindled, where dreams have been brought ablaze.

I have been lead to use the talents which were given to me from birth to help myself and others re-discover that which we are all seeking but for some reason keep looking hopelessly outwardly to find somewhere else, some place we have not quite gotten to yet.  This place we are all seeking is not out there somewhere... its a place we all knew when we were very very young but we all have forgotten this place.

As we grew up in our modern world that is so powerful at creating diversion, giving us the rules of what we "should" and "shouldn't" do based on a model of what our society, religion, teachers, parents, all have decided what is supposed to be, based on this theory, or that theory, what will be the most productive, what will be the most successful, what will be the most beautiful, on and on... who really knows?  Who came up with all this?  Look what its lead the world into now!!!

Nope... I think most of us by now know that's not the answer...  Its kind of a scary thought.  All the leaders in the world don't seem to have an answer.  The answer is not out there... its inside each and every one of us.  We have built up powerful masks and armor to keep the authentic truth about ourselves locked safely inside.  Away from harm, away from recognition.  We are so good at this that we no longer know who we truly are anymore...  We have a beautiful brand and label but our true ingredients have not been disclosed.

I have learned the most powerful thing I can do to break the barriers and find my true authentic self is to let go completely of all defenses, to begin singing with all my heart open for all to see, to dance and play like a child forgetting about what anyone might think, what they may say or do, to let go completely and allow my inner voice to lead the way to true freedom.

Its VERY SCARY to let go completely to give up all defenses, and I smashed my face several times throughout my life... but that is because I lost the vision... I stopped believing.  I worried and fretted about everything I have been taught, everything that I had planned, everything that was the smart choice, the practical choice.  Everything that would not make me happy at the end of the day.  That is not success.  Its a facade of success.  Success is felt inside, not outside.

Harmonic Attunements are for breaking down the knotted barriers that have been built up all around us.  We can do this by allowing ourselves to connect with something that we all have basic within us, something that is already there, not something we have to strive to obtain but something so basic to us all.

It is an ancient science, and ancient technology but no education is needed because we already know it deep within our authentic selves.  I began to write a book titled "Harmonic Alchemy" this book would contain all the secrets... but as I began writing the book I realized that the knowledge is not out there...  Its inside... You cannot get it from a book... A book will only slow you down... Find it inside yourself.

The blueprint for the universe is within us all!  It will all be revealed to us the more we allow ourselves to turn inward to it.  Making sound is the fastest way to get there of all the meditation methods I have ever tried.  That path is evolving faster and faster...

In these current times we are evolving so fast that many of us are running scared as fast as we can in the opposite direction.   Its a defense mechanism... don't fight it.. let go and let it happen... its going to be beautiful!  Don't cover it up with drugs or other obsessions.  Don't cover it up with strict yogic practices.  Don't throw yourself into a busy but unfulfilled career.  Let yourself fall in love with that deep love that is growing within your heart...  Let it lead you to where you are truly searching.  It may be a rough road at first, but stick with it.. Your heart knows the way you will be truly fulfilled.

We only need to let ourselves sing, cry, dance, move, let go...  The knowledge of how to do this more effectively will grow each time we allow ourselves to do it.  If we do it with reservation, we are fighting.  But that is ok... don't stop... keep doing it anyway...  Eventually fear and reservation will fall away, we will forget what we were fighting.  The sound of harmonic resonance within our own voices and the sacred geometry of our own movement will begin to do its magic and healing work on us.  We will begin to remember that which we forgot long ago.

Eventually it will be easy and compelling to enter into a state of complete surrendering... When you feel a bit naughty and excited while your are doing it you are on the right track!  Keep going!  You are going in the best direction...  Your direction...  Your authentic direction!  If you feel a burden, you are going the wrong way... no matter how hard it is, the way of your heart will never be a burden.  It will be your source of inner strength!

Harmonic Blessings and Love,
Ben

My Divine Feminine Path - Bhakti Yoga

In my last post I said I would share some things about my childhood.  It is a bit scary for me to reveal some deep secrets that VERY FEW folks know...  Not even my close family know this stuff about me.

I am ready to share this with the world now, although it runs strongly against my nature not to protect such secrets!  I have to do it though... its being required of me.  Many things are changing and this is one of them.

I got an email from a friend the other day with the subject heading: "Hey Girlfriend!" The email had this cute photo of a fiesty young, old woman wearing sneakers and smoking a cigar with the heading "National Girlfriend and Sister's Week - I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the harispary I use, and the friends I have. To the cool women who have touched my life.  Here's to you!"  The email contained a list of reasons why "its good to be a woman"...  As a man (physically) I was flattered to get this email.  This post is all about the reasons.

I am writing about this because I have reciently come to the realization that men are basically "women" with only one specialized function.  Man start out in the womb initially as female... but very late in the gestation period a small attribute... one tiny extra attribute kicks in and blocks the development of a reproductinve system capable of spawing and supporting another human life and instead creates a much simpler geneitic delivery system. 

This tiny attribute that makes a woman into a man has gotten blown way out of proportion for the past 5 to 10,000 years, maybe longer!   And NO... contrary to the popular Judeo Christian belief...  Woman do not come from a rib of a man...  Some man wrote that part of the bible obviously!  The true story is actually quite the opposite...

Science shows us that men are 99% woman genetically with one small little chromosome difference.  Men have one active X chromosome just like a woman.  Women have two X cromosomes but only one is active... the other is a copy or backup...  Men's Y chromosome is almost exactly the same as an X chromosome but its not entirely complete (i.e. its sequence is much smaller).  

There is only a very small sequence contained within a man's Y chromosome that is missing in a woman.  This very teny tiny difference is the only thing that makes a man different than a woman... But that teny tiny thing is the "Shiva" that ends up destroying further development of what would normally develope fully into a womans reproductive system, while stimulating the development of a very simple male sexual delivery mechnism in its place.

Everything else about a man is identical to a woman.  So taking human reproductive equipment into account, there is absoutely nothing else physically or mentally "extra" about a man that makes him different, better, or worse than a woman.

Men are in fact capable of lactation just like women.  If it werent for the predomonant effects of male hormones men would develop breast and lactate normally when they become fathers.  There are historical accounts of this occurance although science may not acknoldge it yet.   In all other respects, men have the same organs, and the same hormones, however regulation of those hormones are diferent and thus physical attributes shift accordingly.

It is my strong belief that men in their specalized role have long ago forgottin the fact that they are one with their sisters and not so different at all!  Most of the difference between the sexes has been slowly manufactured in our minds and cultures over a very long period of time.  Men have increasingly and progressively seporated and cut themselves off from half the population for pretty much all but one basic need... "sex"!  I strongly believe this has caused major detremental ramifications on humanity and our world in general!

Throughout my entire life, I have felt for the most part like a woman living inside of a mans body.  I have kept this secret to myself for most of my life until now.  When I was in college I experimented a bit thinking: "Was I gay?" but after several unsuccessful experiences with that I realized I was not attracted to men at all physically, and mentally I find most men to be quite in-sensitive, brash, highly competitive, and generally annoying.

I prefer the company of women always over men and not because they are sexy.  That is only one part of it... a nice part, but only one of many other reasons and without those other reasons the sex part becomes boring and in fact un-sexy.

When I was a very young boy my feminine self was much stronger than when I got older, but now in my middle age that feminine strength is returning, even stronger than ever!  That feminine self is more than physical.. She is a spiritual being and she is VERY POWERFUL and VERY LOVING!

She (the divine feminine) fully manifested (consciously) when I moved to Orcas Island, where I now live.  As I look back on my life I see her coming through very strongly all the way back to when I was a little boy/girl before I could even talk. From a very young age I used to dream and fantasize that I was a ballerina or gypsy baliadora.

Until very recently I would never tell anyone about these very personal secrets, especially my own family.  This was very much a hidden aspect for me until I arrived here on these protected shores. Orcas Island makes me feel so free I don't care any more!  

About a month or two after settling here and finding a small quiet lovely cabin on White Beach Road to live in, I spent the entire weekend there alone with all my windows and doors wide open to the trees, birds and animals outside, with candles and incense buring... crying crying crying my heart out... I cried constantly the entiere weekend...  It was a special and powerful moment for me... it was not a sad cry.. it was a very beautiful cry of love...  It was an initiation...  I was finally home and I knew it.

My first year here living in the woods on White Beach road reminded me about when I was very young (about 3 or 4 years of age)  I have VERY VIVID memories of this time, clearer memories than any other part of my life actually.  Often I would run away from home.  I did not do this because I was trying to escape any harm... I did not know anything but pure LOVE at that age.  I was very innocent.

I ran away because I was called into the woods by mysterious friends. Don't ask me how I got away so easily from my mom.. maybe I teleported :)  She does not even know how I got out because I did it so much they put up child fences so I could not get out of the house etc.  But I got away just the same..   

Often I was not found until later over 3 or 4 miles away.  I had spent nights in the woods and was never afraid.  I felt such peace and was in the company of many seen and unseen friends.  When I knew I was alone in the woods and no humans were around I would soon have all my clothes off and I would dance and sing like a Beautiful Gypsy Girl imagining long flowing colorful silks flowing from me like I was some kind of cosmic jellyfish!

I felt like I could fly!  I used to believe I could fly actually and would try to jump and fly while I danced and sang.  I was only able to fly in my dreams or in trance however... I'm still trying though. :)  I felt so free.  At this early age I was not trying to escape anything.  At this early age I did not yet know right from wrong, fear, or pain.  That did not come until later..

The thing I learned from this early time in my life, which for some reason, thank God I never forgot... is how to travel to this place inside my mind from where ever I may be physically, no matter where that may be... even on a fast moving subway train in New York City!

Later in life I did not have to "run away physically" into the woods to get to this place.  I turn off "mind energy" and connect with "natural energy" or what I call "heart energy".  Its easy... Everything around me dissappears and I am back in those woods up on the old mountain plateau in Swannee Tennissee smelling the Dogwood trees of spring!

Or I am sitting on a rock studying the crabs and sea urchins somewhere on an Island in the Salish Sea, as I connected with later with at age 10 when my Grandfather first took me to visit my aunt in Victoria BC.  (I will write about this story and my first encounter with a baby octopus in a future blog entry.)

I did not have to practice meditation for years and years in order to learn how to do this.  I have always known how to do it nautrally... Its a gift from God and Its something I am supposed to do in service...  I did not know what its true purpose was for many years, and its presence only caused me much shame, turmoil, and pain, from everyone around me growing up in east Texas.  Later in life when I learned Meditation and Kriya Yoga I finally learned it was a beautiful blessing, it was not a curse.  It took me a long time to learn how to controll it for great purpose and service to all.  It is best channeled through what the hindus call Bhakti Yoga.

Later in life I used this ability to get away from things that hurt me, things that scared me.  But mostly I would go there for reasons of love not fear or pain or need to escape.  I can even today go anytime... far away in another world where all the animals are my friends and there are no mean people around yelling at me... telling me I should do this... or that...  Now that I am on Orcas Island, I am there all the time, physically and mentally!

I remember very clearly, back when I was 3 and 4 years old alone in the woods that I was able to communicate clearly with the animals in the woods.  I don't think they were afraid of me either.  I remember birds and squirls coming right down to me...  These were my first shamanic journeys when I was very young.

I did not know back then what the word shaman meant.  It was not part of my culture!  But this was a very natural thing for me to do and I just did it...  I knew I was different though cause my parents and teachers all tried to get me to STOP my daydreaming and buckle down.  No one encouraged that part of me except my invisible friends who I would talk to in dreams.  I instinctively knew not to talk at all about this to anyone! 

Later when I got into middle school and high school I suppressed it because of fear and shame... That was sad for me.  But my woman would bust out of me anyway many times in weird ways... I ended up using drugs to help suppress it or at least cover up the shame that society had taught me...   Later I learned through meditation how to accept my strange nature in spite of what westerners and especially "Christian" friends and family would tell me.

I learned to to use it wisely and started seeking out psychic groups when I was living in Florida during my Navy carrier.  I did not feel I was a woman back then but felt instead that a woman would come be inside of me sometimes.  It was not until I came to Orcas Island I finally realized it fully that this was my true nature... That it was ME my Spirit that was feminine... Or rather more feminine than masculine.. we all are a balance of course... or should be a balance that is...
 

It was like waking up from a dream when I moved here... I could not help myself... I felt the goddess had fully awakened! She loves to cry a LOT... I find it very hard not to feel strong emotion just about for anything anytime and tears will pour forth... I am not afraid to show it anymore either.

Also I find myself singing in a high woman's voice range a lot.  This creates a powerful transforming vibrational essence within me.  That kind of singing, resonating with the singing bowls, feeds powerful energy into my body... its very healing...  I believe it may even be repairing and reversing aging.  Time will tell whether that's wishful thinking or not... ha ha...
 

This island makes me feel very safe.  I would never have dressed up in woman's clothes elsewhere but I have done it two times already here... Once in the 4th of July parade... and later on Halloween... When I was a woman for Halloween I was TOTALLY a woman!  Wow that was so nice.. 

I was afraid to use the men's room!  I could not relate to them at all that evening... I was totally with my sisters in the woman's powder room chatting it up! ha ha...  I Was dancing that night like I never did before... It was such a free flowing feeling and I moved the way I always wanted but am a bit shy to do as a man!  

On the dance floor I could feel the male energy all around checking me out!  I had to play it cool and be cold with them so they would not be encouraged to pursue me.  I feel very comfortable with a few men so I let myself go with them.  That was a totally different feeling for me... it was a revelation that night...  

I am not looking for a sex change.  That is not at all what this is about. This is far beyond gender or present day male female relationships...  Its gone way out to another level now and I don't think I could be in a regular relationship anymore.  Someone special who gets it will need to come into my life now!

Our world has been designed for a very long time trusting women with all the secrets while men are given the dominant control.  Its been a very strange and sad reality for a VERY LONG TIME...

Things are finally shifting away from that and we ALL are being set free...  We only need to let go and LOVE.  I have said that before :)  Its stupid simple but so profound...  The most profound things in the universe are stupid simple...  I have said that before as well..  Good time to stop.  OK I did this... it feels good... I may reveal more later..